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Follow the 4 Ps for perfect presentations. And add 'patience' to the list In this series of five articles, I cover top tips for delivering a professional, impactful presentation. Let's look at the steps to follow to secure success with Perfect Presentations Tip 3 – The 4Ps. Presentations are a common feature of our working lives. Being able to articulate clear, engaging messages is a great skill, but one not many of us naturally possess. However, you can learn and improve, and it’s not as difficult as you think. Yes, you have to overcome nerves and fear, but the more you know, the more you grow your confidence and the more those fears disappear (or at least take a back seat). So here are the four Ps for perfect, powerful presentations. Purpose Why are you doing the presentation? The answer might well be “I’ve been asked to” but taking the time to think about the purpose and getting into the detail behind the ‘why’ can reap huge rewards and set you up for success. You also want to avoid any surprises, so try to prepare for any unknowns and leave as little space as possible for error. Firstly, think about the reason for the presentation. Is it to inform or instruct? To persuade or engage? The reason will drive your approach and the content. It might also influence the delivery mechanism or style. Secondly, who is the audience? Your aim is to connect with your audience rather than just talk at them, so who are they? What do they want to know? What do they already know? As with all good communications, it’s about saying what you want to say in a way that your audience wants to and is ready to hear it, so do your research and think about who you’re targeting. Prepare Prep needs to be divided into content and visuals and you need to prepare thoroughly for both. I’ve seen far too many presentations fail because people have assumed that they’ll know what to say as they flip through their slides. Some people do this really well, but they are the minority, so set yourself up for success and think about what you want to say, where and when. What are your primary messages? What needs to be said about them? What is already known/implied that you can allude to but don’t need to cover? Map out what you want to say, put the points in order and develop your script or talking points so your points are clear and concise. You don’t necessarily need to write your script word for word, but have your key points down so you’ll convey the information clearly in a structured way with confidence. Visuals take a lot of effort to prepare and get right – fiddling with boxes and font alignment on slides needs focus and time, so make sure you factor that into your prep schedule. Don’t leave these to the last minute, or you’ll be cringing and you’ll throw yourself off-kilter when you see a spelling mistake on-screen or notice that your font sizes don’t match! Practise Just what it says. Run through your presentation a few times – out loud. This is critical to presentation success because it’s only when we hear text said out loud that we know if it flows. Don’t rely on written notes alone because you don’t know where you might stumble. Early on in my career, I realised at a (very) important conference that I got tongue-tied when I had to say verisimilitude. It’s a tough word at the best of times, but I’d read it in my mind multiple times and assumed it would be fine out loud. It wasn’t and I was mortified when a member of the audience interrupted and said it for me. So, learn from my errors and get vocal and familiar with your content. Even better, try your presentation out on a willing colleague or friend – just because it makes sense to you doesn’t mean it will make sense to others. And this is also a chance to check your tone, posture and speed. Cringeworthy for many, but very powerful and effective for self-awareness and improvement, is to record yourself. Even better, film yourself! It's not fun for most people, but if you don't know how you look and sound, how can you hope to connect with and impress your audience? Feedback is not your enemy here - fear is. The more you know, the more you can fix. And if it’s really bad, try some presentation coaching. Persuade with passion A somewhat overused word, passion is important for presentations because, without it, no one will be interested. Think about it – how many presentations have you been to that should be interesting and aren’t because the speaker is dull? If they aren’t engaging, how can you be engaged? Optimise your body language and inject some energy and enthusiasm into what you are saying to convince your audience that you are worth listening to. If presenting fills you with dread, why not book a session of Career Therapy to help you overcome your fears and help you move forward? Presenting is a skill and it can be taught – trust me, I know, because I had to learn how to do it and now I do it well. I still don’t love it, I still feel self-conscious, but no one knows that! Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk And look at the other articles and tips on presentations here on the website. Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support, grounded in years of coaching experience - and real life. Check out my other content on careers and confidence: The 4 Ps of confidence and Is it all worth it? Photo by Pierre Bamin on Unsplash

Learn how to feed your concentration to maximise your time, energy and output Some people claim there is no such thing as multitasking and others say it is, in fact, unproductive. Certainly, we have different ways of working and there is more than one way to achieve a result. And a great way to get results is to pinpoint how to feed your concentration. I start lots of things, work on them concurrently and appear to work in chaos, some random (dis)order that only makes sense to me. The most notable characteristic of how I work is jumping from one activity to another as my brain sparks with ideas. Right now, for example, I’m writing two blogs, hopping between one and the other as ideas come to me. (I’m also doing a jigsaw, but I’ll explain that later on). Productive? It doesn’t seem it should be, but it is. How? Because I know how my brain works, and I work with, not against it. It might look like chaos to an outsider, but I thrive on it. To a point. The proactive juggling keeps my brain busy, switching from one thing to another sparks my interest and that in turn creates momentum and positive pressure that motivates me. My brain is a busy place. And it gets distracted. I get bored easily and crave new or different things to occupy me, so in order to get things done, I entertain and feed my brain. I work in chunks of time, it might be an hour, it might be two minutes, and I use a contrasting activity as a break, a time to refresh my concentration. I call these contrasting activities ‘sorbet tasks.’ Like a sorbet course in a meal, the ‘sorbet task’ cleanses my brain of what I was doing and sets it up refreshed and ready to do the next thing. A transition task might be five minutes spent reading, five minutes checking email or 10 minutes having a cuppa or putting the washing out. Whatever it is doesn’t really matter, as long as you change focus – and put your active/work brain on pause to allow your other thoughts to develop and appear. It's about taking time to think. My personal favourite sorbet task is tidying. Probably as an antidote to the chaos and pressure I generate to get my brain fired up, clearing things away for five minutes and creating order soothes my brain and helps me switch gears. In addition, I use it as a way to catalogue what I’ve done and what there is to do. If there’s nothing left to tidy, I do a bit of a digital jigsaw. Tidying is taking control, smoothing rough edges and allowing my brain muscles to stretch. But some people stay too long on one task and more than that, they struggle to switch context. This is where multitasking can be unproductive, but sorbet activities can be useful here too. They can be an enforced break, built into a schedule to help build time management skills and make a new habit - like the Pomodoro technique. A time to switch off from one activity before starting the next and consciously stopping thinking about one thing to create space to switch focus to another. But the challenge for the multi-firing of us whose brains don't work in logical or straight lines is what you do with the break time. Chunking time is a regular conversation topic with clients when we look at time management and productivity, especially those struggling to get things done because they are always so busy. My clients find that understanding how their brain works and identifying ways to take more control of what they do, how they do it and when they do it is the route to sustainable success. Identifying and introducing personalised 'sorbet' tasks is a good (and proven) way to help you move from one activity to another, closing off the previous task and getting mentally ready for the next one through distraction and space. They help you make the transition, be more productive and stay focused more effectively. Another aspect is whether you are multitasking or procrastinating. Thinking you are busy - or too busy to act - isn't about getting things done. It's the avoidance of doing something. Multitasking can work, but only if you are doing the tasks, not spending your time and energy jumping and switching between them to avoid doing something else. If you find yourself procrastinating, ask yourself if you need one or more of these three things to enable action: Information Motivation Validation If you’d like help to identify ways in which you could be more productive and/or less overwhelmed by busy-ness, why not try a session of Career Therapy? Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support, grounded in years of coaching experience - and real life. Check out my other articles on careers and confidence: Discover your motivation, Know your strengths and Are you stuck in the Procrastination Zone? Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

A large part of my work as a career coach is helping people get unstuck. Some don’t know what to do next, some are avoiding deciding that and some have too many options to choose from. One theme that emerges for women time and again is that they feel less than because they aren't a specialist or expert. You can be interested and have expertise in multiple areas Some years back, I had an ‘Aha!’ moment when I read the book, What Do I Do When I Want to Do Everything? by Barbara Sher. It’s a book for ”Everyone who feels they want to do too many things and can’t choose just one. It helps people understand that they do not have to focus on one thing – that they can love many different things and do them all.” Finally! I wasn’t flighty or unfocused, I was what Sher terms a ‘scanner’, someone who has many interests and wants to do different things. Being interested in and wanting to do many different things has a number of names. For me it is being an everythingist. For others, it is polymath, multi-passionate, generalist or multipotentialite. What is interesting to me, though, is the legacy of negativity being an everythingist brings – I’ve been called a dabbler, jack of all trades, generalist, amateur, and, worryingly, a non-expert. I've even been called a flibberjibbet, putting me in the space of a foolish and flighty woman. Where does this come from and how do we challenge and move beyond it to celebrate diversity of experience, abilities and wants? Being an expert Females multitask. It’s a well-known phenomenon, but it doesn’t mean we aren’t focused. And it certainly doesn't mean we can't be experts in multiple things. What we do is multi-focus and some of the most successful women I know successfully operate across highly compex and diverse contexts. So, where does the myth of the expert or specialist being superior to the capable generalist and multitasker come from? There is bias in history and in society that has contributed to the view of expertise being associated more with men and for me, it is important to understand and challenge these stereotypes to make sure that honed expertise and multi-expertise are recognised and valued equally regardless of gender. Some historical gender biases come from these sources: Gender Roles: Society has historically assigned specific roles and responsibilities to men and women. In many cases, men were encouraged to have careers and education, which could lead to expertise in various fields, while women were confined to (multitasking, multiskilled) domestic roles. Representation: Men have traditionally dominated fields such as science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM), along with philosophy and medicine, which require specialised knowledge and expertise and have generated the ‘boffin’ and ‘genius’ male tropes. Stereotypes: Gender stereotypes can influence the way people view others’ competence and expertise. There is an enduring stereotype that we have still to counter that associates men with qualities like leadership, analytical thinking and problem-solving, which are often associated with expertise. Generalist over specialist We need to challenge the view that you’re “not an expert” if you have multiple roles, abilities or even multiple careers. If you speak many languages, you’re multilingual and that is seen as enviable, so why can’t we also be multi-expert? Being able to do many different things is not a negative, not by a long way, in fact, it should be seen as a superpower! Challenging the idea that being a generalist is inferior to being a specialist and promoting the idea of multitasking in careers, particularly for women, involves addressing historical bias and promoting the advantages of a multi-faceted, multi-skilled approach to your professional life. A successful career doesn’t mean you need to focus solely on one thing. If you have multiple capabilities, interests and passions, follow these in your career and life to make sure you are doing a job you are happy in and are energised by it and your other interests. If we invest all of our worth and identity in one thing, then that’s putting all of our eggs in one basket, which is pretty risky. We should always challenge stereotypes that undervalue generalists and multitaskers, particularly if they disproportionately affect women. You can follow your passions, no matter how many of them you have. Be an everythingist. And be proud of it. Let's celebrate being everythingists. If you’d like to think differently about how you work and how you identify what you do, why not try a session of Career Therapy? Let’s rethink multitasking from under-appreciation to a superpower and see how embracing that can build your confidence and move your career forward. Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support, grounded in years of coaching experience - and real life. Check out my other articles on careers and confidence: Perfection drains your confidence and Are you ‘just' doing your job? Photo by Muriel Liu on Unsplash

Do you know how to stand out at an interview? If you are in the process of interviews, then you will be focused on this question and you may be asked it directly. Here's how to answer: "Why should we hire you over other candidates?" So, how do you stand out in a crowd when you don’t know who makes up that crowd, but you do know that they have similar skills and experience to you? It might sound like a difficult thing to do, but it’s actually a great question to be asked because it gives you a forum to show just how amazing you are across the four key criteria for being a good hire: You have the skills, experience and knowledge to do the job You can make a positive impact and deliver results You’ll have shared values and will be a good cultural fit for the immediate team and wider business You have the passion and commitment to be successful, which you can demonstrate by showing a strong understanding of what is required in the role Create an answer that covers these areas with an eye (as always) to the job description and company website. Given that you and the other candidates have point 1 covered – otherwise you wouldn’t have got the interview – focus here on specifics and combinations of skills, experience and knowledge from your career that make you unique. And if you’ve already answered questions around skills and experience, briefly recap what you said and focus instead on the other areas. Being prepared, calm and confident will make you stand out too, so be sure to invest the time and effort to create and practise your script. If you’d like to grow your confidence in interviewing or would like help preparing your scripts, why not get in touch and see how a session of Career Therapy can help you? Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Check out my other articles on interview success, including 'Tell me about yourself' and 'Why do you want to work here?' And the Harvard Business Review article on how to answer the 'Why should we hire you?' question. Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support, grounded in years of coaching experience - and real life. Photo by Getty Images on Unsplash

Warm up for interview success - body, mind and voice Do you warm up before you run? Stretch as you start a yoga session? Ever thought of doing that before an interview? If not, why not? It could give you the edge. Let's talk about the importance of warming up for interview success. I prep my clients for interviews and hold mock sessions to see how they perform. Even with the most diligent preparations for content, about 80% of the time, clients hit their stride after 20-30 minutes, which is too late on the day to make a good impression. So, what’s the answer? Warm up and be ready to GO! In addition to your content prep, plan for mind and body prep: Mind – Identify a time when you felt confident. Relive that moment, how it felt to be there, how you felt…let that strength fill you up. Tell yourself how confident you feel. Voice – I’m not suggesting yodelling, gargling or operatic scales but warming up your vocal chords is vital to establishing flow and projecting confidence. Talk to yourself (or someone else) for 10-15 minutes before the interview, ideally about something you feel positive and confident about. Or try these acting techniques. Posture – You’ve already made sure your camera is at eye level (you have, haven’t you?) and that your chair is the right height for/distance from the camera. You know to sit with your weight on your thighs, not your bottom to keep you from fidgeting (you’ve practised, haven’t you?), so what else do you need to do? Rolling your shoulders and stretching your neck is good so you release any tension and don’t start the interview looking scrunched. Lungs – Breathing techniques help to regulate nerves and your voice will sound stronger if you open your chest up. Try pulling your shoulder blades together and see what a difference it makes to keeping your voice steady, lower and slower. You have to be ready to make that great first impression. If you don’t grab your interviewer's attention right away with strong presence, you’ll lose them; they will already have made their mind up about you. Be warmed up and ready when you go into that room, or join that call. Practice all the above, then do it again. Get a friend to help you, or try some action-focused coaching sessions to feel ready and confident to ace the interview. If you’d like some help to get interview-ready and warm up for success, why not get in touch and see how a session of Career Therapy can help you? Book a free intro call and let’s chat. Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Check out my other interview advice and tips and my articles on Why should we hire you over other candidates? and How to speak up in meetings. Why not follow me for more confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support grounded in years of coaching experience...and real life. Photo by Kateryna Hliznitsova | Unsplash

There are hard and soft ways to say No. Both can be effective Search online and there are pages and pages (and pages) of links to advice and techniques on how to say no. Interestingly, the vast majority focuses on the challenge of saying no. There are myriad variations on “how to say no” titles, assertiveness techniques and my personal favourite, “How to say no and still be liked.” What I struggled to find was material on how to say 'no' rather than 'NO'. In the work that I do with executive women in their mid-late careers, it's a recurring theme of not knowing how to say no in a way that is effective. We cover: – How to soften directness so you don’t shut down the conversation and look rude – How to manage a no without confrontation or leaving the other party feeling aggrieved – How to say no but ensure the other party is still willing to engage and contribute I’m sure I haven’t invented it and it probably has a fancy title, but I call my technique ‘bridging’ and like so many things I love, it’s clear and simple. This is how it works: imagine you’re a project manager and a client relationship manager wants to bring forward a deadline to keep a client happy. But it can’t be done, it’s just not possible. The CRM wants to tell the client it could be possible in order to keep them engaged but you’re concerned that such action will cause problems rather than solve them. What do you do? Tell the CRM that the answer is no and that they shouldn’t talk about it? You could. But it might be too blunt for them if you just shut down the idea. It might even generate conflict and make the issue bigger than it needs to be, leaving you and the CRM on opposite sides. Instead, you could build a bridge and ask the CRM to cross it, to get them to your side. Sound good? Yes, but how do you do that? A short option is: “I appreciate that this is not the answer you are looking for, but for X and Y reasons, we are not able to move the deadline.” You’re there, I’m here, there’s a gap in the middle, but acknowledging the reasons will help you move from where you are to where I am. You are listening to them and, perhaps more importantly, they feel that you are listening to them. A more detailed option could be: “As the project manager, my responsibility is to get the project delivered to plan. I appreciate that as CRM your role is to keep the client engaged and I do understand why you are asking for this. I can assure you I have looked at the request and considered all possibilities, but for two reasons, the answer is no. Firstly (give the reason) and secondly (give the reason). Based on those reasons, can we agree that you’ll tell the client the deadline can’t be moved? And can we agree you won’t mention the possibility?” Essentially, I’m here, you’re there, but these reasons will enable you (or force you) to come across to my side. To generate goodwill and reinforce collaboration, you could offer to help in another way, still adding value but by different means to help ease the other person across to your side. The key to this technique is acknowledging difference, putting it out there that you’re on different sides – and not pretending otherwise. Those sides might be role-based, like the example above, or they might be based on other factors such as experience levels, cultural differences or industry sector. This technique of softening a ‘NO’ to a ‘no’ has brought success for my clients and for me in my business. If you’d like some help saying no (or even yes), then why not get in touch for a chat? Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support, grounded in years of coaching experience - and real life. Check out my other content on careers and confidence: Want more confidence? Take control, The power of choosing to be positive, How's your battery level? and The Career Therapy Mantra. Photo by Morgan Bryan on Unsplash

In my younger life, I was often surprised (and irritated) that people didn’t do things the way I did them and didn’t see the world the way I saw it. How do you measure what you are good at? When I switched careers and retrained in psychology and HR, I started to understand that people’s brains process and comprehend information in different ways. Very different ways. With the ignorance of youth, I’d assumed that other people were being stupid when they couldn’t do things I took for granted and asked what I thought were obvious questions. I was also ignorant about myself, not understanding that my own skills and abilities, things I could do so well that I took them for granted, were valuable to others. I just did those things. I didn't have to think about them. And that lack of self-awareness wasn’t limited to me, as I was reminded when starting with a new career transition client. Let’s call her Lucy. Lucy’s role was being made redundant and she needed to apply for new roles. After our introductory chat, I asked Lucy detailed questions about her work experience and anticipated next steps. I then asked her what her strengths and special skills were… and she went quiet. After a mildly awkward silence, she said: “I don’t have any.” It was a surprise because she’d just spent 10 minutes telling me all about her (extensive) work experience and what made her (amazingly and measurably) good at her job. Now, anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m rarely stuck for words, but on this occasion I truly was. How could she not see how incredibly strong her skills, experience and attitude were? It was obvious to me. But not to Lucy. She just said: “There’s nothing special about me, I just do my job.” She wasn’t being modest, she was genuinely perplexed that the complex tasks she performed each day couldn’t be done by, as she put it, ‘just about anyone with half a brain.’ I gently pushed and asked her, 'Are you just doing your job?' Lucy didn’t see how great her skills were because she used them every day and assumed everybody could do what she did. They can’t. Trust me. That conversation got me thinking about skills and behaviours we take for granted and the other times clients, friends and people I speak to don’t realise they have a skill or special ability because “it’s just what I do.” Women especially underestimate the value of their skills and experience. We need to get better at recognising our strengths - and talking about them. Giving 110%, sticking with it to get the job done, questioning, showing empathy and exercising judgement are all behaviours that, I find, we take for granted when we have and use them. And we say 'just' automatically, but by doing so, we diminish our strengths, abilities and unique combo of experience. Similarly, being innately organised, multi-tasking, building relationships, managing difficult conversations and solving problems are skills we often forget that we have after we’ve been using them for years at home and work or because they are just a part of who we are - we don’t think of them as special or valuable skills. One of the biggest barriers to achieving skills and strengths awareness is that we don’t stop to think about our skills and behaviours, so it’s surprisingly powerful when a client talks about what they do for a few minutes and I then play back to them how many skills I spotted as they were talking. If you’re struggling to understand what you’re good at or find it hard to articulate your strengths, then a session of Career Therapy will help you. You might not see at first what makes you strong because it’s ‘just' who you are, but I can help you objectively see your abilities. In a way that you can own them, answer the question 'tell me about yourself' without squirming and be proud to shout about them (because it's not bragging if it's true). Why not give it a try? What's stopping you? Click on Book a call on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Check out my articles on how to know your strengths, grow your confidence and the happiness at work audit. Also take a look at some of the online tools to help you identify your strengths. Why not follow me for more confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support grounded in years of coaching experience...and real life. Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Iconic brands iPhone and YouTube Just how strong is your personal brand? What are you known for? Can you talk about why your brand is so strong or great? Do you even have a personal brand? Yes? Great, I’m sure you’re very successful. No? May I recommend you keep reading… I encourage people to introduce themselves to others and connect with them by leading with what they do and deliver, not their job title. Why? Well, it was a change I made a few years ago and the results have been astonishing. OK, so some people were impressed with “I’m an executive leadership and career coach”, but most just looked at me with a blank face or blatant disinterest. I get why. It’s too abstract. It means nothing to THEM, the people I’m trying to connect with. Now, I say, “I help women be more confident and able to talk about themselves,” and the result is very different. Every time I’ve said it (no lie), I’ve had a reaction. It sparks curiosity in other people and usually kickstarts a conversation. Why? Because THEY can relate to it. They know what being confident – or lacking confidence – at work feels like. It’s personal. It’s meaningful. And so, we spark a connection. Admittedly, my opening is sometimes met with “Really, are you a magician?” or “I could do with you helping me, I'm not very confident and I hate talking about myself”, but at least there’s an exchange and an opportunity to move the conversation in a more positive direction. So, how did I make the change? And how can you do it? It starts with noting down: – Who you are: what words you would use to describe yourself. Ask people for their ideas too, to gather vocabulary (and insight) – What you are: your job/area – Your expertise and strengths: think about your superpowers, the things you do really well and do better than others. Summarise your expertise and what makes you good at what you do – The impact you generate: the problems you solve and the benefits that brings to people and organisations – Your values: what’s important to you in your professional world and why? – Why you love what you do: what does it give you? The data that comes out of this reflective exercise gives you a framework and language to start playing with. Then, ask yourself – what happens when you do what you do? What’s the (desired) result? It might take some time to find the right definition and the right words, but keep playing until your concise, clear brand statement options surface. Talking it through and out loud can lead to lightbulb moments! Then test a few options on people you trust, get feedback and pick the best one. I accept that we need to talk about what we do and my second line when I introduce myself is exactly that. My third is how I do it. But I don’t ever lead with those now. So, what does your personal brand say about you? Is it compelling? Is it meaningful to other people? If you’d like help to define your brand and come up with a pithy one-liner that grabs people’s attention, and/or build your confidence talking about yourself, why not try a session of Career Therapy? Click on Book a call on the website or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more confidence boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk Check out my post on Power Words Make Your Personal Brand Stand Out and for a comprehensive intro, I highly recommend Susan Chritton's Personal Branding for Dummies. If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It's packed full of thoughtful career support grounded in years of coaching experience...and real life. Check out my other articles on careers and confidence: What is my brand?, The power of passion for career growth and Your Work vs. Your Brand. Photo by Sara Kurfeß on Unsplash

We say sorry when we are not sorry - and don't need to be Sorry! Are you? Or is it just a reflex to say that? Something you don’t even notice you are doing… Stop saying sorry. Or at least understand why you are doing it and build self-awareness and self-confidence. While apologising is, of course, necessary and powerful at times to demonstrate connection and empathy, women often use it as a ‘polite’ or socially conditioned gesture. STOP saying sorry when you've done nothing wrong! Social and gender norms create different communication patterns where women end up feeling more pressure to avoid conflict as we are more attuned to social friction. We might apologise more frequently because of these societal expectations that we should be polite or deferential, especially in work or mixed-gender settings where, as women, we may unconsciously feel the need to step back or avoid being perceived as aggressive or confrontational. With conditioning, over time saying sorry becomes a reflexive behaviour that can be difficult to break but over-apologising, saying sorry excessively, can be damaging, undermining a woman’s confidence, authority and credibility This is especially in professional settings but it impacts in social ones too. If we over-apologise, it sends a signal that we are uncertain or lack of confidence, even when it's not the truth. It puts us in a lesser, inferior, subservient place. We downplay, covering up how we feel and keeping quiet about what we feel and really want to say. And when we do say what we want to say, we apologise for having feelings. We apologise when we cry because we’ve been taught it’s a weakness. It isn’t. Its humanity, emotions and expression and we are entitled to feel. Did a parent deride you for crying? “What are you crying for?” as if you weren’t entitled to express an emotion, because it’s weak? What do you want to say -or shout - at that voice today? Do it. Even if they can’t hear you, you can. And you are not sorry for having emotions, are you? Think about all the times you might have apologised: We say sorry for simply being present, being here, taking up a space. We say sorry when a situation is awkward, as if we have to make it better for others. We are the first to step down, step back, step away. We say sorry before disagreeing with someone or expressing our disappointment to soften the impact and not rock the boat. We say sorry when WE have done nothing wrong, when others have. We say sorry when others should be. Why? Why are we sorry? Next time you hear yourself say sorry, ask what you are sorry for. Is it just a reflex, conditioned response - and do you want to decondition? If you'd help to say sorry less and be more confident, click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support, grounded in years of coaching experience - and real life. Check out my other content on careers and confidence: Are you really sorry?, You can grow your confidence, Pick your shine time, 5 steps to building confidence and this one, Mind the Sorry Gap by the Neural Lab. Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Power words make your personal brand stand out Your personal brand defines you - it tells someone who you are, what you stand for, how you behave and communicate. It is a powerful tool to promote you and how you add value through the work you do. Power words make your personal brand stand out. So choosing the right words to describe what makes you uniquely you - your professional essence, if you like - is critical for career success. There are times of the year when updating your CV and exploring better options is popular, but keeping your CV and LinkedIn profile up to date regularly with current market vocabulary is a small but wise investment of time and effort. But what often holds us back from doing this is not knowing how to talk about who we are, what we do, all that we can offer and how we add value. These are all part of our personal brand that help us create professional presence and showcase our abilities, but where do we start? I published a post on how to Tell Me About Yourself, which I encourage you to read to develop a structure and script, so here let's get into the specifics of finding the right words with this powerful but simple exercise. STEP 1 What five words would you use to describe yourself? Distilling our essence down into just five words makes us hone in on our core self, what really makes us, us. Mine are: warm, curious, tenacious, reassuring, candid. How do I know that? Part self-reflection, but mostly what other people have said about me. Which leads us to... STEP 2 Ask 5-10 people what five words they would use to describe you. Try to make it a varied pool of people who know you in different contexts - family, friends, co-workers, former colleagues. That way, you get a broader perspective. Once you have the results, pop them in a table and take a look. This is where it gets really interesting because you will see themes emerging along with values. A family member might have said honesty and a colleague might say integrity, which are the same theme or category. Yes, you may have outliers, but in my experience, you will be able to draw out the key themes and choose the words that best represent these and match them to the words you chose. Do they align? Are there differences? If so, where? And what does that tell you about how you see yourself and are seen by others? STEP 3 Choose how you talk about your brand. Whilst you might be tempted to say 'I possess excellent interpersonal skills' on your CV (though I'd encourage you not to be so generic!), you are unlikely to speak about yourself that way. More likely, you would say something like 'I get along really well with people'. Consider the impact of the words you choose and ask if they are strong enough. CV-speak words like 'proficient' and 'adept' rarely sound authentic, so...don't use them. Use other, more personal and definite words to boost your brand. I also encourage you to play around with a thesaurus and swap words to hit the right note. If people say you are hard-working, you might choose 'dedicated' or 'determined' as professional alternatives that take your brand up a notch. We aren't looking for meaningless, empty labels, we are looking for what makes you, you at your core. Think about words that have impact, words that represent you at your best. (Remember, it’s not bragging if it’s true.) If you’d like some help defining the value of your brand and/or getting your CV and LinkedIn up-to-date, why not get in touch for a free intro call? I can help you find your ‘you’ words to power up your brand and professional presence. Click on Book a call on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more brand boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk Check out my content on How strong is your personal brand? and A more confident version of you. For a comprehensive, easy-to-follow intro, I highly recommend Susan Chritton's Personal Branding for Dummies. If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support grounded in years of coaching experience...and real life. Photo by Paul Campbell on Unsplash

When I was younger, I struggled to meet people and make connections. I was awkward, didn’t know what to say or how to keep a conversation going. I’m still not a natural networker, but I’ve learned how to make it easier – questions. Good questions. There are so many questions.... I now have a stock list of questions and it never ceases to amaze me how much information people are happy to reveal. Or how happy some people are to talk about themselves! Asking good questions means you are able to connect with people and build rapport. Making connections is vital at work, to meet immediate needs as well as for long-term success. With connections, you gain knowledge and you receive support. Here are some of my staples for making connections at work: How long have you been interested in that (or worked in that area)? How do you stay motivated and focused? Do you think passion is more important than ability? Which part of your experience has been most valuable to you? What’s next for you in your work? What’s the best piece of career (or life) advice you’ve ever received? What advice would you give someone at the start of their career? What’s your view on….? Did you read/see xxx? Did you enjoy it? If you don’t feel comfortable, practise with a friend or in front of the mirror. Pretend to be more confident than you are (shoulders back, chin up) and then go and try it. It might take a few goes for you not to feel awkward but you’ll feel more confident after your first good conversation. Connecting with people can only make you stronger, so if you’d like help practising and building your confidence, why not book a session of Career Therapy and let me help you take the pain out of it? Click on Book a call on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more confidence boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk And check out this related post on how to Tell me about yourself and this article from Forbes on how to Turn Strangers into Friends with 8 Great Questions. If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support grounded in years of coaching experience...and real life. Check out some of my other content on careers and confidence: Are questions more powerful than answers? and How to ask for what you’re worth. Hello photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash Question mark photo by Alexander Mills on Unsplash

Change doesn't have to be dramatic or forced to influence others' behaviour Do you know how to influence people? Whether you call it persuasion, manipulation, development, or influence, a good influencer of people - and in fact anyone who works with others to get things done - needs to be able to change behaviour through influence. Sometimes permanently, sometimes just long enough to get decisions made and move work forward. This is true of influencing behaviours and securing change at all levels we operate at - with boards, committees, leaders, stakeholders, customers and teams. Why telling people what to do rarely works Demanding change rarely works. When demands are made of people, change may happen, but it’s usually begrudging and short-lived. That’s the stick approach: force compliance through authority or threat. It may deliver a result, but it rarely delivers commitment or longevity. The carrot, enticing change through reward, is far more effective - we can think of it as 'choice architecture' where we opt into behavioural change willingly. But carrots can be obvious and people are savvy, often seeing them coming. People have learned (and can learn) how to negotiate, how to ask for more and how to hold out for more carrots and a better deal. In recent years, these behavioural techniques have been given a more media-friendly label: nudging. Yet nudging isn’t new. Long before it had a name, we were already using it. At its core, behavioural change has always been about making the desired behaviour appealing enough to choose. So what is nudging, really? Wikipedia defines it like this: “Nudge is a concept in behavioural science, political theory and behavioural economics which proposes positive reinforcement and indirect suggestions as ways to influence the behaviour and decision making of groups or individuals.” It sounds complex, but it isn’t. In fact, you probably already do it. You just may not realise how powerful it can be. Take positive reinforcement. Saying, “That’s a great insight” or “This summary is really strong” is feedback, acknowledgement, encouragement. To some, it feels basic. To someone who rarely hears it, it can feel like being sprinkled with fairy dust. Not everyone is naturally enthusiastic or expressive, but even a simple, genuine thank you can have a disproportionate impact. Indirect suggestion is just as straightforward: “I wonder if there might be another angle worth exploring here?” “This project has real potential to develop further.” You’re not instructing. You’re opening a door... for others to push wide and walk through. Why indirect suggestion works Like dangling a carrot, indirect suggestion takes many forms because it taps into some deep, predictable truths about human behaviour: Peer pressure and social norms – our desire to fit in and align with the group Inertia and unintentional laziness – defaults matter. Opting out feels harder than opting in Loss aversion – we’re more motivated to avoid losing something than to gain something of equal value Short-term awareness – linking an idea to a recent event increases impact (though it fades and needs refreshing) Framing effects – “95% fat free” sounds better than “5% fat” Overconfidence and selective belief – the same bias that keeps us buying lottery tickets Some clients feel uneasy about the idea of influencing or “manipulating” behaviour. That discomfort usually fades when I explain that influence itself is neutral, it’s the intent that matters. Used responsibly, it’s a force for good and a tool for progress. In fact, even knowing all the behavioural truths above, people are far more likely to change their thinking or behaviour if they believe the idea was theirs. That’s where the real power lies for people managers, but applies to anyone looking to influence behaviour. The influencer/manager as coach, not commander Indirect suggestion sits at the heart of effective coaching and coaching is a powerful (and relatively simple) high-impact tool for managers and influencers. Asking questions that guide thinking, encouraging reflection, and enabling self-realisation consistently deliver better outcomes than simply providing answers . Telling creates compliance. Guiding creates ownership. And ownership is what makes change stick. If you want to become a more effective influencer of people and develop your influence for good, please get in touch. Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support, grounded in years of coaching experience - and real life. Check out my other content on careers and confidence: You can grow your confidence, Pick your shine time, 5 steps to building confidence and Want more confidence? Take control. Photo by Jeshoots on Unsplash