Change doesn't have to be dramatic or forced to influence others' behaviour Do you know how to influence people? Whether you call it persuasion, manipulation, development, or influence, a good influencer of people - and in fact anyone who works with others to get things done - needs to be able to change behaviour through influence. Sometimes permanently, sometimes just long enough to get decisions made and move work forward. This is true of influencing behaviours and securing change at all levels we operate at - with boards, committees, leaders, stakeholders, customers and teams. Why telling people what to do rarely works Demanding change rarely works. When demands are made of people, change may happen, but it’s usually begrudging and short-lived. That’s the stick approach: force compliance through authority or threat. It may deliver a result, but it rarely delivers commitment or longevity. The carrot, enticing change through reward, is far more effective - we can think of it as 'choice architecture' where we opt into behavioural change willingly. But carrots can be obvious and people are savvy, often seeing them coming. People have learned (and can learn) how to negotiate, how to ask for more and how to hold out for more carrots and a better deal. In recent years, these behavioural techniques have been given a more media-friendly label: nudging. Yet nudging isn’t new. Long before it had a name, we were already using it. At its core, behavioural change has always been about making the desired behaviour appealing enough to choose. So what is nudging, really? Wikipedia defines it like this: “Nudge is a concept in behavioural science, political theory and behavioural economics which proposes positive reinforcement and indirect suggestions as ways to influence the behaviour and decision making of groups or individuals.” It sounds complex, but it isn’t. In fact, you probably already do it. You just may not realise how powerful it can be. Take positive reinforcement. Saying, “That’s a great insight” or “This summary is really strong” is feedback, acknowledgement, encouragement. To some, it feels basic. To someone who rarely hears it, it can feel like being sprinkled with fairy dust. Not everyone is naturally enthusiastic or expressive, but even a simple, genuine thank you can have a disproportionate impact. Indirect suggestion is just as straightforward: “I wonder if there might be another angle worth exploring here?” “This project has real potential to develop further.” You’re not instructing. You’re opening a door... for others to push wide and walk through. Why indirect suggestion works Like dangling a carrot, indirect suggestion takes many forms because it taps into some deep, predictable truths about human behaviour: Peer pressure and social norms – our desire to fit in and align with the group Inertia and unintentional laziness – defaults matter. Opting out feels harder than opting in Loss aversion – we’re more motivated to avoid losing something than to gain something of equal value Short-term awareness – linking an idea to a recent event increases impact (though it fades and needs refreshing) Framing effects – “95% fat free” sounds better than “5% fat” Overconfidence and selective belief – the same bias that keeps us buying lottery tickets Some clients feel uneasy about the idea of influencing or “manipulating” behaviour. That discomfort usually fades when I explain that influence itself is neutral, it’s the intent that matters. Used responsibly, it’s a force for good and a tool for progress. In fact, even knowing all the behavioural truths above, people are far more likely to change their thinking or behaviour if they believe the idea was theirs. That’s where the real power lies for people managers, but applies to anyone looking to influence behaviour. The influencer/manager as coach, not commander Indirect suggestion sits at the heart of effective coaching and coaching is a powerful (and relatively simple) high-impact tool for managers and influencers. Asking questions that guide thinking, encouraging reflection, and enabling self-realisation consistently deliver better outcomes than simply providing answers . Telling creates compliance. Guiding creates ownership. And ownership is what makes change stick. If you want to become a more effective influencer of people and develop your influence for good, please get in touch. Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support, grounded in years of coaching experience - and real life. Check out my other content on careers and confidence: You can grow your confidence, Pick your shine time, 5 steps to building confidence and Want more confidence? Take control. Photo by Jeshoots on Unsplash

Are you like a car racing around an endless track? Zipping along with the finish line in sight isn't the only way to be productive and effective at work. And what if there isn't a finish line and your focus is simply racing around the work track? What if you slowed down - or even stopped? A friend was updating me on working for a new client and she said: “He wants to sit around and talk… I keep thinking, ‘Shouldn’t we be getting some work done?’” It made me smile and I responded: “That is work. I sit around, listen and talk to people – it’s called being a sounding board. How else do you generate fresh thinking and better perspectives?" Making and taking time to talk, to listen, to share ideas, to process, to develop – all of these things are “working”. In my experience, people underestimate the value of making time to stop, listen and talk, but it’s a fundamental part of how we come up with the best (not first or fastest) solutions. It's certainly how I help people move forward in their work and careers when they've got stuck just racing around the track. In an increasingly busy world, it's vital to press pause and just...stop. For a bit. Breathe, assess and move forward recharged knowing you have clarity and can act with purpose to you maximise the return on investment for your efforts. It's not slacking off. It's acting with purpose, which is a time and effort saver. It never ceases to surprise me how little time people allow themselves to ‘think and reflect’ on well, anything. They are so busy being busy and doing, doing, doing, racing around the track that they aren't investing in analysis to assess if what they are so busy racing around doing is actually the optimal activity. It's true with my clients who all too often have been so busy doing, doing, doing that they look up one day and realise they took a wrong turn and ended up in a career cul-de-sac or they feel unfulfilled, under-appreciated and just...stuck. They haven't invested in strategy. They aren't checking in with themselves to ask "Am I going in the right direction? Am I where I want/need to be?" No wonder they find themselves stuck or going around in circles! And I know how that happens and feels, it's what happened to me. And it's not just in our career that this can happen, as this article in Psychology Today points out, " Thinking-time also facilitates thoughtful big-picture solutions. We tend to just put one foot in front of the other and before we know it, years have passed and we're in that same career, relationships, or have the same approach to living, when thinking-time might have helped us realize that we need a change, perhaps a major one." So, go on. Take some time to think. Regularly. You, your life and your career deserve it - and it will ensure you don't get stuck. Great thinkers did it and it worked for them so take some time to think. Whilst you are thinking, ask yourself: Am I happy with my career? Are I where I want to be? And if not, where would I like to be? What do I want more/less of? And invest in some time to think with a thinking partner, a sounding board, like me, who can help you find the right questions to ask and how you answer them to get you on track and accelerate your progress. My Taking Time to Think blog can help too. Get in touch for a free chat and let's see how some space to think and being asked the right questions for your situation can help you recharge your career so you can zip along with purpose, not just speed. Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk More thinking, less racing. What's stopping you? If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support grounded in years of coaching experience...and real life. Check out my other content on careers and confidence: Are questions more powerful than answers? and Asking good questions. Photo Steve Johnson for Unsplash+

When looking up a recipe recently, I laughed out loud at cook and food writer Rachel Kelly’s line, “cue readers’ eye-rolling and thoughts of course you make your own bread, you’re a Guardian reader. I bet you knit your own lentils too’…” I laughed because I’m guilty of that stereotyping, thinking that back-to-nature efforts are just too ‘mung bean’ and ‘worthy’ for a pragmatist/realist like me to bother with. But I've noticed a correlation between mindfulness and confidence, especially in our ever-busier world, where change is hitting us with velocity and we struggle to be heard. Slowing down and being more aware of your brain and emotions boosts your confidence Like my derision of the ‘mung bean’ brigade, I had an equally dismissive view of mindfulness, largely because, like well-being before it, mindfulness has become a catch-all/solve-all panacea for the ills and unhappiness of the modern world. But there is something at the core of mindfulness and the value of meditation - taking time to think - that even non-hippies like me can benefit from. Being present and being aware aren’t bad things. Ever. Far too often, we rush into things on autopilot, racing around the track to get to the finish line and jumping in, doing what we’ve done before to get a task completed, whether or not (usually not) that delivers the best result or the highest quality. We’re too busy being busy to be aware of what we are doing or why. Based on decades of professional and coaching experience, I have seen it proven that: If we spent a bit more time thinking and a bit less time dashing about, then we’d be happier AND more effective in our work. The dictionary definition of meditate is ‘to plan something in your mind; to consider doing something; synonym – contemplate.’ Planning is good. Consideration is good. Contemplation… good. So, why don’t we do more of them? And why aren't we doing more to link confidence and mindfulness? People with admirable professional presence project calm, strength and awareness. People with gravitas do not dash. They don't scurry around looking in a flap. No, they might walk fast, but they stride with purpose. Confident people sit still. They are present, grounded. They reflect. They are incisive and decisive because they are clear about what needs to happen to get the right result. They cut through the noise to get to what is important. They will be very busy, but there is a huge difference between being busy and being productive. Busyness is damaging us, our happiness, our effectiveness and our ability to do good work. Competitive busyness is a workplace disease that is infecting our ability to produce and perform, to create, to advance, to deliver, to appreciate. Making the time to think, meditating on the best way to do something, contemplating options until we find the right one…that’s what we need to be doing more of. If you’re overwhelmed by being busy and would like to feel more effective, why not get in touch for some Career Therapy and talk to me about easy steps that can take the pain out of your work life? I promise I won’t make you chant or meditate! Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support, grounded in years of coaching experience - and real life. Check out my other articles on careers and confidence: You can grow your confidence, Pick your shine time, 5 steps to building confidence and Want more confidence? Take control. Rachel Kelly is the author of the food blog Marmaduke Scarlet Photo by Anna Seang on Unsplash

Knowing your worth through data creates a strong base for negotiation Successfully asking for a pay rise isn’t about money. Of course, it is about money, but there’s far more to it than the figure itself. If it were only about salary, you’d resign and take the higher-paying role you’ve found elsewhere. Knowing how to ask for what you’re worth is a critical skill for your career growth and for building a strong sense of self. Asking for a pay rise is about understanding your value relative to your role, company and sector and then asking for that to be recognised. A Real World Example I mentor a Head of Product Development who joined a start-up a few years ago that started to rapidly scale. She recently faced a dilemma: should she leave for another start-up offering a massive pay hike, or stay where she is and ask for a salary that she thinks reflects her market worth? She has been in her current role for almost two years and has: Built her team from 5 to 15 people. Upgraded two core products. Initiated and is about to launch a third product. She was approached by recruiters and a headhunter for CTO roles at new, product-based start-ups. The pay was attractive, but the role itself would have been essentially the same as what she is has already done. If she stayed, she knew she had more room to grow with a company she understood, but she felt underpaid and undervalued. My client is detail-oriented and risk-averse, but was ready to take the leap for bigger money and the sense of worth that the figure gave her. She’d even gone as far as getting an offer in writing, thinking that would be a way to ask for more money where she is, but I quickly persuaded her to walk away from that approach. Why? Because: It amounts to a threat, which can damage relationships. Leaders may view it as a sign of disloyalty or a “give me this or I leave” negotiating style If they call your bluff, you could unintentionally end up out the door. Using threats and demands are not traits that leaders want to see in their teams and we not going to get the desired result. So, how should you ask for more money in a positive, collaborative way? Here’s the method we used - it’s simple, structured, and proven to work: Step 1: Make Lists List your value, contributions, and future potential. Organise them into seven clear points: Points 1–3 highlight past contributions: Three specific examples of where you’ve added value, showcasing the positive impact. Points 4–6 cover future impact: How you will contribute going forward, ideally with realistic timescales. Point 7 covers salary expectations: A market-informed range that gives parity with peers or reflects your worth, based on data (not hunches). Step 2: Frame the Conversation Highlight mutual investment: how you’ve invested in the company and how they’ve invested in you. Explain why now: after two years, the market has shifted, the operational environment has changed and it’s a natural point to reassess your value and trajectory. Keep it collaborative: the conversation is about aligning value, not issuing ultimatums. List the value you bring, show how you have contributed and demonstrate what future potential you have that will help bring even greater results. Talk about the joint journey so far and how, based on that mutual investment, you want to continue moving ahead on this journey together. For my client, this approach worked beautifully: She received a revised package that reflected her contributions and market value. She felt energised and motivated to continue adding value. Even if the answer had been no, she would have walked away with: A clear articulation of her worth. The satisfaction that she took action, rather than staying small. Negotiation skills she can use in future discussions. Confidence in assessing her market value. A win-win scenario for both her and her employer. The model works because it: Focuses on value, not just money. Encourages structured preparation rather than emotional appeals - never an effective negotiating technique in business! Positions the conversation as collaborative, not confrontational. Bridges past contributions, future potential and market realities in one clear framework. It’s a practical, repeatable approach that gives confidence, clarity and leverage without burning bridges. And it's done with respect - your own and your employers'. If you’d like help pinpointing your value and how to negotiate a pay rise, why not get in touch and see how you can learn this valuable skill? Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support, grounded in years of coaching experience - and real life. Check out my other articles on careers and confidence: Boost your career confidence, Are you ‘just' doing your job?, Who is your future self?, How to tell them what you want and this article from Forbes: Ask for What You're Worth. Photo Алекс Арцибашев on Unsplash

Einstein, Nietzsche and Darwin all made time to think. Not do. Just think. Darwin had a “thinking path” he walked along, Nietzsche strolled in nature and Einstein daydreamed. They all valued the process of taking time to think. Taking time to think is powerful Working isn’t just ‘doing’. Working is allowing your brain to process new information, to bounce around ideas, sifting out the good from the mediocre. Letting the priorities rise up and the noise drift away. I recently set a task for a client who was struggling to get through her to-do list. I asked her to sit in a meeting room on her own, without her phone, a pen or any distractions. All she had was herself and her mind. Clearly, she thought I was out of mine! “How can that possibly help me get anything done?” she asked, horrified at the idea of ‘losing’ more time from her hectic day. She lasted 12 minutes before she bolted for the door and ran back to her desk. A week later, I was surprised but pleased to hear from her: “I did it. I sat there for 27 minutes. At first, I felt like I had before – an idiot. Stupid for sitting there, doing nothing and 'wasting' time. But then, I had an idea. I realised how to solve a problem. It was SO obvious. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it before!” My client now has time blocked out in her calendar for ‘reflection and brain utilisation’, and not only is her to-do list being done, but she’s also thought of better ways to do things. Sometimes we need to stop doing and take the time to think. As my client discovered, you can actually get more things done and better if you just make the time. Science says the same - in a world where constant communication and numerous digital devices means we are constantly bombarded with information and choices, slowing down and making time to think maintains and improves our quality of work. Once you’ve taken some time to think, drop me a line and we can talk about helping you to work in a more structured, productive way. It's a way that will also grow your confidence, boost resilience and avoid overwhelm and burnout. Click on Book a call on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more confidence boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It is packed full of thoughtful career support grounded in years of coaching experience...and real life. Check out my other content on careers and confidence: Boost your career confidence, More thinking less racing and Are You Thinking or Just Doing? Hourglass photo Andrej Lisakov on Unsplash

Knowing where the exit is gives you confidence to decide whether to leave or stay Taking the leap and switching jobs and even careers can be exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure. How do you know if you really want to leave your job? How deeply have you thought about this - and the practicalities? Would it be better to refresh where you are? To truly understand what is fuelling your desire to leave and to stand a chance of making the right decision, there are steps you can take to put yourself in the best possible position - before you take the leap! First, be honest with yourself about why you feel the need for a change of job or career. Is it the actual job or career that is the problem, or are you unhappy with the current environment, manager or results? Get to the root of the issue by asking yourself questions such as: Do you enjoy your work, but don’t feel you are getting enough financial remuneration for your input? Do you feel the pay is OK but there’s no support or a lack of development? Are you bored and/or unfulfilled? We can become disillusioned at work for many reasons, so be sure to pinpoint your reason (with laser precision), otherwise you might make all the effort to change role or even career, only to find it has not transformed your world and solved all your problems. Remember, the grass is greenest where you water it, not in another field. Analysing your desire for change might show you that a job or career switch isn’t the solution for your current situation, but if it is, here are a few tips to help focus your thinking. Do your research…then do more Think about your strengths, experience, interests and motivations (what are the parts of recent jobs that you most enjoyed, what excites you), imagine your ‘dream job’ in detail (lots of detail) then explore both the opportunities and the reality. Talk to people about roles, companies and industries of interest to uncover the reality – good and bad – so you can make an informed decision (or at least a more educated guess). Analyse your needs and wants Explore your curiosities and follow your interests, but also think about practicalities. Work is always going to be more fulfilling if you are excited by doing something you enjoy, working in a role and environment that meets your needs. I know from experience that being paid a juicy salary is very nice, but the joy diminishes pretty quickly if you consistently feel underappreciated or overwhelmed. There are many influencing factors in why a role or career is right for us so think about what would make you say yes or no, what would keep you interested and motivated. What do you need…and what do you want? Stop trying to find the “perfect” job Have the right mindset for thinking about a job or career change. Do you believe that ‘soulmate’ jobs and careers actually exist? That one job or career that would bring you never-ending happiness and fulfilment? I’d say not. For most of us, there is more than one good option for a job or career and each will have its great and not so great parts. To create a realistic picture, work from the general to the specific, rather than the other way around. Draw a line and at one end note down all of your ideals. At the other end of the line, note down your no-go factors. Think about everything you want and don’t want, including the practicalities such as pay, role potential and your daily commute, breaking down each general point, for example, ‘opportunities for future development’ into the specifics of what that would look like. Keep noting down all of these influencing factors and arrange them along your line and you’ll find a much more realistic picture of what you want, what you don’t want and, in the middle, areas of potential flex and compromise. Be proactive in positioning yourself for a change Map your network to see who does what and works where and then – crucial step – look at who they know. And this is not just your LinkedIn network, it can be friends, family and neighbours, social or hobby connections. Essentially, it is anyone you interact with. The more you communicate with people already experiencing a particular job or career, the more understanding you will gain about how you can make a step in that direction. Be clear and concise about what you are looking for and why to build a path towards initial conversations then interviews then, ultimately, the change you are looking for. Embrace feedback Consider working through your wish for change with a career coach or mentor. An independent, unbiased thinking partner can help you be more objective than family and friends and can offer useful guidance and support. They can also challenge your thinking in a way those who know you may not feel comfortable or equipped to do in a safe way. However, also take into account the opinions of your ‘champions’ – the people closest to you, who know you well and whose support you will need to explore change and make it a reality. Seek out a diverse range of opinions and be open about asking for feedback to form the fullest possible picture of what this change will bring and what it will take to achieve it. If you would like to explore how to switch job or career or uncover whether you even need to take such a leap, why not get in touch for a free chat about how Career Therapy can help you find the answers? Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support grounded in years of coaching experience...and real life. Check out my other content on careers and confidence: Step Up or Step Off?, Stuck in a Cul-de-Sac?, Trust Your Gut Instinct and How to ask for what you're worth. Photo by DDP on Unsplash

Imagine how powerful it could be to assume the best, not the worst A friend recently told me about their plans for setting up their own business. They’ve been thinking about it on and off for years and as we came out of the pandemic, they told me that it seemed like a good time to make it happen. But strangely, although she was clearly passionate about the idea and ready to work at it - All I could hear her saying was ‘But what if it goes wrong?’ What if I start the business and things don’t work out? Businesses go under all the time. But what if it goes right? What if I go with this supplier and it goes wrong and they end up leaving me in the lurch? But what if it goes right? You get the drift. This anxiety and focus on the negative can apply to any situation where you have to make a ‘big’ decision, such as accepting a job offer, getting into a new relationship or moving house. Decisions can be hard because they are full of unknowns and risks. Often, we don’t know what we don’t know, and that can be nerve-wracking and hard to accept. But we can’t know everything. Sometimes we have to take a leap of faith or, to put it another way, jump and accept that we might fall…or land gracefully. We can choose to think positively. Yes, we have to be practical and realistic with our dreams and ambitions if we want to make them happen, but constantly focusing on the potential negative outcomes doesn’t help. In fact, it keeps us trapped, it allows us to procrastinate and gives us permission not to try. My go-to question in this scenario is ‘What is the worst that could happen?’ My friend, not surprisingly, answered, ‘It could fail!’ Yes, it could, but I asked her what she could do to try and ensure it didn’t. I asked her what she wanted more, where she is now or where she could be. Typically, when I ask, ‘What is the worst that could happen?’ clients start listing everything that could go wrong to demonstrate why they shouldn’t take action, but we then move on through gentle challenges to their thinking with questions like ‘What is the actual impact of that?’ and ‘How else could you look at this?’. Through these exploratory conversations, clients can realise that they are telling themselves it will all go wrong because they are afraid. They may have limiting beliefs about their ability to succeed, fears they have generated or have taken on board from others, and genuine concerns about the risks, but what is interesting when they hear their fears played back to them is that they lose their power. Where does that fear come from? Is it still true now? How does it help you to believe that? Of course, there are no guarantees of success. I do not belong to the cheesy, simplistic and perhaps even potentially toxic ‘positivity is everything’ school of thought, but from a purely practical point of view, I often wonder – How differently could things turn out if we focus on the positive factors of our situation? It takes just as much energy to focus on something positive as it does on something negative. To move forward, we need a balance of both. And even if the result is not what we would have wanted, we would have at least spent our time more constructively, wanting something good to happen as opposed to doing nothing by expecting something bad to happen. Or living in the stasis of 'maybe one day' and staying stuck. I know which I would prefer. What about you? If you’d like help to move forward and gain a more positive perspective on your career, why not contact me and see where a session of Career Therapy can take you? Contact me for a free intro chat via the website. Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk And check out my other posts on the non-woo-woo approach to the power of positive thinking, including The power of choosing to be positive and What if? Not every is negative. There is also the Positive Intelligence approach to addressing negativity by understanding your mental well-being saboteurs. Why not follow me for more confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn Louise Newton Instagram @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support grounded in years of coaching experience...and real life. Check out my other content on careers and confidence: Feel the Fear a Little Bit Less, You can grow your confidence, Pick your shine time, 5 steps to building confidence and Want more confidence? Take control. Photo by Planet Volumes on Unsplash+

Like the idea of the 'one' - do soulmate jobs exist? It’s astonishing how many people are striving for ‘the one’, that life-fulfilling, perfect job that will lead to everlasting career happiness. They are desperately searching for the answer, trying to figure it all out, to find a true calling and go on to live a fulfilled, happy life. But, like ‘the one’ in romance, does your soul mate, the perfect job, actually exist? Is there only one type of work on the entire planet that can complete you? And do people really have a true calling? When clients come to me and say, “I want to change my job”, and I say, “OK, what are you thinking?” there are some that know and some that don’t. That’s fine. But, almost half of those who don’t are searching for ‘the one’ – that elusive, previously undiscovered, perfect fit job that will bring them lifelong fulfilment, happiness and contentment. Oh, and it has to pay well. And not be too far from home. And offer good benefits. And some work-life flexibility. “Hmmm…” I say, “Bit tricky that one. Let me look in my treasure trove of ideal jobs and see what glittering jewel of perfection I can find for you.” I think a calling can exist. Some people find a profession they love or a mission that motivates them, that makes them feel fulfilled. But I think they are in the minority. When we dig into it, most people want work that, well, works for them. Challenging but not too difficult, interesting but not overly demanding, pays well, reasonable commute or hybrid option, good benefits, nice perks and some decent colleagues. But is that settling? Are we compromising on perfection? Is good (or good enough) sufficient to shower us with happiness and soothe us into working contentment? Should we instead hold out and search for perfection? From my experience, I think not. I think, like a life partner, a ‘good match’ job is what we should strive for. We should pursue something that works for us, makes good use of our skills, and helps us grow and do better. Something more realistic and attainable. And with that, we should accept that it won’t always be perfect. It will have some highs and lows, some wins and some compromises, but overall, we’ll reflect on what we’ve got and feel satisfied. Like people, jobs have imperfections. Those that do look amazingly perfect are often far too high maintenance to sustain a relationship with, or their perfection diminishes on close inspection. I don’t believe the perfect job exists. And, even if it did, I’m not sure it would stay interesting for very long. Perfection can get boring pretty quickly. And as with anything that looks good on the surface, the story underneath can emerge to show quite a different reality. If you’d like to stop chasing an unattainable dream job and focus instead on what will make you happy at work, why not try a session of Career Therapy? We can start with a free intro call to chat about what you are looking for and why it matters to you. Click on 'Book a call' anywhere on the site or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk to say hello. What’s stopping you? Don't wait for the perfect time...it might not exist. For more tips, tools and talks, follow me on LinkedIn and Instagram. And check out my post on how perfection drains your confidence. Brené Brown has talked about the damage that focusing on perfection can do. Her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, is a great read. If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the Career Therapy Newsletter? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support grounded in years of coaching experience...and real life. Check out my other content on careers and confidence: The Perfect Job, Are You Hanging on for The Perfect Job? and Want More Confidence? Take Control. Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

Making human connections can ignite a job search or career change The adage ‘it’s not what you know, it’s who you know’ has never been truer in the search for a job. I’m not talking about nepotism and unfair advantage; I’m talking about contacts, networking and referrals. Are you looking for a job? Look at who you know. We look at recommendations and ratings for what we buy, eat, watch and visit, so isn’t it natural that we would do the same when we are looking for new employees? A headhunter friend told me, “We (recruiters) are either too busy or fundamentally lazy. Why would we spend time searching high and low when we can just ask someone for a recommendation?” I don’t think it’s laziness per se but it is a more time and cost-efficient way to get a result. But how do you access the so-called 'hidden job market' and find out about jobs before they are advertised? And how do you get someone to refer you for a role, positioning you nearer to the front of the queue? And why is it so important? In 2016, hiring expert and LinkedIn regular Lou Adler quoted survey data showing that 85% of jobs were filled by networking and that networking to secure a role beats applying directly by a ratio of 3:1. There is additional research that the #1 way people find a new job is through networking and referrals. And this data still holds true in 2025, even in a world where bots, not people, seem to be increasingly in charge of job applications. Add in the increasing use of ATS (applicant tracking software), keyword match driven assessment that many companies now use to scan and ‘read’ CVs, and there’s an even greater argument for getting your CV in front of an actual person – and a person who has some decision-making power or at least influence. Of course, building networks and finding jobs is LinkedIn’s bread and butter, so they would come out with a figure quoted by Adler, but other sources and my direct experience working with clients over the last decade or so do back up the premise that securing a role through someone who knows you or of you is more likely than applying through a website. It’s less true for more junior or generic roles, but very true the further up the career pyramid you climb. With online applications, you are playing a numbers game. If 500 people apply, how many will get a strong keyword match and make it through the first sift…100? 50? Let’s say 50. Out of those, less than half will make a more detailed sift and perhaps up to ten (but more likely five to eight) will have a first-round chat with a recruiter. Of those, maybe three or four will be invited for an interview. The odds are constantly against you and – frustratingly – the selection criteria and sifting process are invisible. So how do you boost your chances? With online applications, applying directly via a company’s website is one step closer than through an aggregator site (though not all companies put roles on their own sites). Even better is to find a recruiter and direct your application to a person. In my experience, most recruiters are active on LinkedIn and are happy to receive messages. They are busy and necessarily selective, so you have to be equally selective as well as persistent, but it’s their job to find good talent and quickly, so make it easy for them to find top candidates and hit their targets. And remember, they get bombarded with approaches, so don’t make them work for it, be targeted and make yours the type of message that recruiters love to see, where you clearly and concisely pitch your experience, skills and value. Imagine how many ‘I’d love to work for ABC Co. and would like to chat about roles. My CV is attached’ messages they get. And then imagine how welcome a message like this would be: ‘I’m a sales enablement specialist with over ten years’ experience supporting international tech sales, five of which were with Salesforce in B2B for enterprise customers. I’m known for my ability to cut through the noise, design effective roadmaps and for building high-performing teams. I’m interested in X and Y roles. Can we connect to look at next steps?’ Much more likely to get a reply. Many job hunters are lazy or uninformed about what is needed in today’s market. They create one, generic CV, hop onto Indeed and LinkedIn and click the ‘easy apply’ button, thinking that they’ve done enough. And they talk of applying for 100+ roles and wonder why they aren’t getting results. Tailoring your CV (and cover letter) is critical to showing you are a great match for the role – demonstrating that you’ve identified the key strengths, skills, experience and knowledge required, then showcasing how you match the criteria. You are the one looking for a job, so the onus is on you to put the work in. I get asked how to ‘beat ATS’ or avoid hours spent tailoring CVs and rewriting cover letters, but there isn’t a get-out clause. How can you expect someone else to spend time looking to see if you’re a fit if you can’t take the time to show them? I appreciate that you might reach out to a lot of recruiters and hear nothing back (this is a reality), but being highly selective, doing your research thoroughly and creating the right type of message will give you an edge. The same is true of working directly with agency recruiters and headhunters. Why make their job any harder by not telling them exactly what you are looking for, why you are good at it and what you bring? Being clear, concise, relevant and targeted will make you stand out, will make their job easier and will achieve far better results. But there is another way. A way to avoid the opaque online ATS bots and all that time spent tailoring CVs and cover letters in the hope that they’ll be read. Sound interesting? This route appeals to job seekers, but sorry, there’s still no free lunch. There is a price to pay with this approach and that price is putting yourself out there. Which, quite honestly, makes a lot of job hunters flinch. They cringe at the idea of asking for help from someone they are connected to on LinkedIn that they haven’t been in contact with for four years. I get that, trust me, I’ve been in your shoes. I’m not a natural connector, but I did learn a critical trick – don’t ask for a job. Well, not directly. Say you’re in the market looking for X roles and ask their opinion on what is happening in their common field/market/sector. Or, my favourite, ask if they know any recruiters they would recommend. Why is it my favourite approach? Because it is asking a specific question, looking for specific information, which makes a reply easier for them to send. And it's let people know you are looking for a job without the vulnerability of asking for a job. Ask if they’d be happy to suggest anyone they know who might be looking to hire or they could connect you to. At the end of the day, people connect on LinkedIn to network and help others find connections and jobs, so why not use LinkedIn for the very thing it’s there for? Why be embarrassed? Would you help someone if they asked you? If you’re cringing as you read this, perhaps ask yourself, ‘why wouldn’t they help me?’ Some might not reply, but some will. What harm can it do to ask and let people know you are in the market? Create a list of your connections, download your LinkedIn list (under Data and Privacy) and map who you know and who they know. Create a set of template messages and start sending them out, reactivating contacts and making new connections. Ten minutes a day isn’t a big investment of time and you’ll be surprised how many people you can approach on your target list with this small regular commitment. Use social media too to look for news on your target companies, find people and get updated on any opportunities. Join groups and follow hashtags on LinkedIn and use Facebook, Instagram and your phone book contacts as a way to connect, search and let people know you’re looking. It’s not just former colleagues and professional contacts that should be on your list - family and friends know people too and would (one assumes) be happy to refer you. Let people know you are looking for a new opportunity and see what happens. There’s lots to consider here, but rather than fighting the odds and crossing your fingers, why not employ a mixed approach that gives you more advantages? Blending your search is a good idea. Trust me, I’ve seen the evidence time and again. Create a mix of online applications, networking for referrals and direct targeting and you’ll have a much more powerful job search strategy. One that will bring you results. If you’d like help putting your strategy together, thinking about where and how to look – and how to make those approaches without cringing – then why not get in touch and see how I can help you? You might be surprised at how quickly a change in approach can yield results. Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn   Louise Newton Instagram   @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the twice-monthly   Career Therapy Newsletter ? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support, grounded in years of coaching experience - and real life. Check out my other articles on careers and confidence:   You can grow your confidence ,   Pick your shine time ,   5 steps to building confidence  and   Want more confidence? Take control . Header photo Fabio Bracht on Unsplash

In this series of five articles, I cover top tips for delivering a professional, impactful presentation. Let's look at the steps to follow to secure success with 'Perfect Presentations Tip 4 – Let's get physical' and think about your body and voice. Question – What’s the best way to get the audience to listen to you and pay attention to what you are saying? Answer – you. Before you even start sharing any information, how you greet your audience and engage with them in the first 10 seconds is how you set the scene for success. This edition's tips are about the physical delivery of presentations and generating impact with your body and body language. You can have a perfectly crafted presentation with a compelling narrative and persuasive argument, but if you don’t deliver it well… it will flop and you’ll be remembered for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes, people focus so much on the content that they forget to put time into perfecting delivery. In last week’s blog Tip #3 talked about the 4 Ps of purpose, prepare, practice and persuade and today we pick up on that last point – how to project confidence and persuade your audience . Voice Do you know what you sound like? Most people don’t (and many don’t want to know), but how do you make an assessment and improve without a baseline to measure from? If someone asked you to assess their performance, wouldn’t you need to see it to have a view? Yes, you would and it’s the same with your own performance. Recording and filming will help enormously (after you get over the cringing). I talked about voice and projection in Tip #1 but it’s worth reiterating that how you stand or sit has a significant impact on how you sound. When sitting, by leaning in over a desk, you crush your lungs and the sound quality is poor. It also makes your voice ‘squashed’ and prevents you from projecting properly. Try to keep your head level or slightly up to make your voice come across clear, conveying confidence. And see the points on shoulders and breathing mentioned below. Think about voice speed and cadence too. Do you speak too quickly and sound rushed or chaotic? Are you too slow and risk sending your audience to sleep? Do you vary your tone to emphasise points and keep your audience engaged? Does your voice go up or down at the end of a paragraph to let me know that section is completed? Body & Posture Body language is incredibly powerful stuff. I’m not suggesting you get into the (fascinating) world of micro-expressions, but do think about what your face and body are doing. Is your resting face disinterested, stern, smiley or blank? Let’s take the top 4: 1 Eyes Eye contact is critical. C-R-I-T-I-C-A-L. If you are in front of people then ensure you look at your audience. Scan across the group and, as naturally as you can, make eye contact with people to reinforce your presence and build a connection. If you are on video, be sure to set up your screen so the camera is at eye level and you are looking directly into it. We’ve all been on countless video calls where participants talk at your photo not to you in the camera – don’t be one of those people. 2 Mouth Holding your resting face in a slight smile takes practice (and it makes your face ache) but it is worth thinking about how your mouth reflects what’s going on in your head. I had one client come to me for coaching on how to look more interested and be more engaging after her manager suggested she alter her usual RBF (Resting Bitch Face) expression. She had no idea that she looked so disengaged so be sure to ask for feedback from a friend or colleague about what you do with your face on screen or in front of an audience. 3 Shoulders Back. Not so you thrust your chest out or look stiff but enough that you sit or stand up straight and open your lungs to maximise oxygen intake and ease your breathing. 4 Bottom Yes, your bottom. This plays a bigger role in successful presentations than you might give it credit for! If you are sitting, sit back in your chair and rest your weight on your bottom, not on your thighs or the backs of your knees. This keeps your shoulders back and lungs open. It also stops you from fidgeting. If standing, see the point below on the ideal partnership between your bottom and feet. 5 Feet When standing for a presentation, holding a pen is a good idea (see Tip #1 ) because it stops you from waving your arms around, using them instead to signal where you are going with the narrative and to emphasise key points. To keep your body still and focus attention on the content (not you jiggling about), it also helps to put one foot slightly in front of the other and put your weight on your back foot. This keeps you grounded, your shoulders back, lungs open and head up for maximum air and projection. When you feel compelled to adjust your position simply switch your weight from one foot to the other. To emphasise a key point, open your arms and lean forward to put your weight on your front foot then lean back, close your hands back into your centre and let your audience absorb the point. If you are sitting, put your feet firmly on the ground and make them work with your bottom not against it to stabilise your body posture. Vital if you are in a swivel chair – the nemesis of the poised presenter. Breathing Tied to posture and voice is breath. Have you ever been presenting, forgotten to breathe and run out of breath at the end of your sentence? Does your voice get stuck at the top of your lungs and start to get wispy or squeaky? Then you need to breathe more and make space to breathe in your script. One technique I use is to break my content down into lines and short paragraphs and use punctuation and line spaces to show me where to breathe. In Tip #3  I talked about preparing your content and the importance of practising your words out loud. A very common mistake is to write your notes but not say them out loud. It’s when you do that that you realise where your optimal breath points are and how to use your breathing to emphasise key points. Energy I’m not referring to auras and anything hippy with this section (not that there’s anything wrong with that of course), it’s about how you project your mood and create the right tone. It’s also about how you get into the optimal mindset to give your best performance. If you need to project more confidence with your presentations then a brisk walk, running up and down stairs or some other aerobic activity pre presentation will help create more of a buzz and energise you. And it’s better than adding to your nervous energy with caffeine. The reverse works too. If you rush your presentations or are nervous, then deep breathing and relaxation techniques and/or meditation pre presentation will help slow your mind and balance your energy so you feel calm and balanced as you start to speak. Power poses can also help with getting your energy level right. Adopt a pose where you feel like a superhero and let your confidence wash over you. Recall moments in your life when you’ve felt energised and confident and let them imbue you with positive feelings. Look out for the other tips in the series on giving perfect presentations and don’t hesitate to contact me if you’d like to have a chat about how to improve your presenting skills and performance. Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn   Louise Newton Instagram   @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the twice-monthly   Career Therapy Newsletter ? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support, grounded in years of coaching experience - and real life. Check out my other articles on careers and confidence:   You can grow your confidence ,   Pick your shine time ,   5 steps to building confidence  and   Want more confidence? Take control . Photo by Anastasia Hisel on Unsplash

Is your thinking going in the right direction? How can you tell? Our world is a different place these days and it’s perfectly normal to feel unsettled and in need of a change. Lots of you want to make this change in your work life and take a different path in your career, but is it the right thing to do? If you’re considering a move, ask yourself my '5 helpful questions if you’re thinking about leaving your job' to clarify why you want to leave your current role, what you want to do instead and how you will manage the transition. 1 What is it that I don’t like or enjoy anymore? Assess your current position as this is your starting point for any change or goal. You took your job for a reason, presumably because you wanted it or believed it would reward you with new challenges, an opportunity to learn and grow or more money. Go back to why you took it and then look at what is different now – is it the role itself? The team or your manager? The company? How you are managed? How you’re recognised, rewarded and/or respected for what you do? Try to pinpoint the exact reason or reasons why you are no longer enjoying what you do. 2 What do you want more/less of? This will be your future destination and is closely tied to the first question. Fundamentally, what is it that you want to be different? Be specific, very specific. Thinking, “I’d like more challenge” or “I want to work with an engaged team” is a great starting point but you need to be precise to identify what isn’t working for you now and what would need to happen for your needs and desires to be met. If it’s about money, how much is ‘more’? 2K, 10K? Be specific. Take a number, try it out in your mind or make notes. What do you want more money for – practical costs or because you feel you are worth more? Find the lowest number that you would look at and then identify the highest, being realistic about the parameters for a role, sector or location. If it’s less quantifiable than a monetary figure, think about what it would look and feel like. Again, try things out and then, and this is crucial: Rank them in order of importance. If you don’t then you’ll struggle to identify target roles, companies and sectors and could invest a lot of energy with little result and no change. 3 Is it really about the job? I know I’m not the only person who has felt restless, bored and longing for something more exciting over the past year or so. In fact, earlier this year, I was so utterly fed up, I was imagining changing my job completely. I felt underappreciated, irritated and stuck. Coming from me, a career coach, it took me somewhat by surprise! I help clients who are stuck to get unstuck and yet I’d done some of the very things I steer clients away from. It was a useful lesson though because I realised pretty quickly that it wasn’t the work or the clients, it was me and where my life was – family Christmas all prepared but cancelled last minute, grey skies and January blues, no real plans or goals to motivate me…all combined to put me in a low place. But I love my job. I get to help people realise what they are good at, what they love and how to move their careers forward. And I know from the results we generate together that it works. On the personal front, it also enables a lifestyle I treasure and would not wish to change. Factors that impact our mental wellbeing and stress can come from work, but they are not the only source. Talking to other people, I wasn’t alone and realised that quitting my job probably wasn’t going to change much. It’s perfectly natural to feel disconnected, discontent and restless after two years of uncertainty, change and isolation, unable to do things that we have always taken for granted and coming out of Covid only to witness more catastrophic world events. So, talk to people. How do they feel about their jobs? I think you’ll find sentiments that echo yours – and where mine were – but stop and ask yourself and others, is it really the job? If it’s specifically your job that is causing you stress and impacting your everyday life – sleep, wellbeing and relationships – then it could be time to change. But please be sure before you take any major decisions. Our jobs have been a key focus, setting the rhythm and keeping us moving forward in a time of stasis with literally nothing else happening, so isn’t it natural that they would be the thing we think is the problem? But would a different job really be the answer? It’s still a job. Or do we need to look at the whole picture, think bigger, change focus, set goals and find purpose to reconnect us to the world again? 4 Would a smaller change bring the same result? Thinking about your answers to questions 1 and 2, is it the whole of your job that is the source of the problem? Are there other things you could look at – and perhaps try – to make your current job or situation better before you decide to resign? Would a reduction in hours spent on Teams or Zoom calls give you time back to get your job done? Changing your working pattern? Saying no (nicely) sometimes instead of always saying yes or assuming you need to do everything yourself? Mapping what you do, how you do it, where you spend your time (or have it sucked away) and who you interact with is a great way to do some root cause analysis of what’s triggering your unhappiness with your job. Talking to someone objective can help too. You’d be surprised what comes up when I first start speaking to clients about their concerns and pain points. Often a safe environment to download in where they can explore anxieties and issues without judgment releases a huge amount of tension and provides a clearer perspective. Talking does help. Acknowledging you’re struggling and or unhappy is very therapeutic,that but not everyone has the support network they need or an audience who can listen without offering what they feel are helpful suggestions! Very quickly, for some of my clients, it becomes apparent there are one or two triggers, rather than it being the whole job. Then we can start to tackle those to improve the situation. The more you can laser in on issues and pin them down, the more you can find solutions. 5 What would I lose? Work isn’t just about the nuts and bolts of doing your job, it brings with it a host of other things – being needed, drive, connectivity, learning, relationships, structure, purpose…and let’s not forget money and rewards. Of course, there are factors outside of your control – you can’t singlehandedly fix workplace culture or bump pay scales, but there may be things you can raise with your manager and/or leadership team. Reflect on the positive side of your job, company and situation before you make your decision. There may be adjustments or compromises that offer a workable solution. If you are considering what’s next and/or looking for a new role or direction, then why not get in touch for a chat about how some sessions of Career Therapy could help you? Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk Why not follow me for more career confidence-boosting tips, tools and talks: LinkedIn   Louise Newton Instagram   @career_therapy_uk If you'd like to receive no-fluff, practical insights direct to your inbox, why not sign up for the twice-monthly   Career Therapy Newsletter ? It’s packed full of thoughtful career support, grounded in years of coaching experience - and real life. Check out my other articles on careers and confidence:   You can grow your confidence ,   Pick your shine time ,   5 steps to building confidence  and   Want more confidence? Take control . Header photo by  Ben Robbins  on  Unsplash Main text photo by  Brett Jordan  on  Unsplash

Are you an early bird or a night owl? Dancing at dawn or alive in the afternoon? Do you know why you hate morning meetings or prefer to be in before everyone else arrives? James McGirk, author of A Grand Theory of Everything, points out that we are all impacted by the effects of circadian rhythm, our internal, daily clock that is driven by hormones. His suggestion for being productive is to synchronise your activities with your hormone levels. And this works, mostly. But not always in the way he sets out. He suggests (testosterone high) mornings are good for “nervy, jumpy activity” when you “blast emails, pitch ideas and crank it out” which is all well and good, but, personally, I have never ‘cranked it out’ in the morning. As I wrote in my post Why getting up super early is a waste of time, not everyone works the same way and some of us do our ‘cranking’ after lunch. McGirk continues that from 1pm (cortisol levels falling) we should channel our “convivial, ebullient energy” into a meeting. Nope. Not for me. My afternoons are mine, precious time that I fiercely guard because it’s then that I am, in my own way, cranking it out. I’m not dismissing McGirk’s theory, I enjoy his writings and take on life, but I do challenge his assertion on what to do when. I’m not a scientist or doctor, but maybe his hormones work differently to mine? I surmise from his theory that he’s a morning person. Maybe my circadian rhythm dances to a different tune? What we both agree on is that finding your internal rhythm and working in harmony with it will make you sharper and more productive. The standard 9-5 working structure we are forced to fit into for much of our working life often clouds our knowledge of the right time for us to do things. Certainly, I became more conscious of my rhythm when I started to run my own business from home, but, looking back I’d known it subconsciously for a while and worked with it as much as the strictures of 9-5 would allow. You can do the same. Why bother? Because it will help you be more productive. Watch out for your slumps, the times of the day (or the week) when you struggle to get going, when times drags even if it’s an activity you enjoy. Note how long it takes you to do things and what you achieve – or not. And note your highs, the times when you are in the zone, powering through work or buzzing with ideas. How long do things take to do then? How satisfied do you feel with your contribution or output? Once you get a feel for your rhythm, block out time, move meetings (when you can) to another time of day and be more aware of how long things take to do. Get things you don’t like out of the way and make time for the more important things. How does this make you happier at work? 1 – When you match your activities to your rhythm, you need less time to do things = more productive = feeling less pressure 2 – Ticking items off your to do list = positive feeling sense of accomplishment = makes you more motivated Which makes you more confident in your career. Email louise@careertherapy.co.uk LinkedIn Louise Newton Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay #career #careercoach