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How to ask for what you’re worth

Updated: Oct 9

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Knowing your worth through data creates a strong base for negotiation

Successfully asking for a pay rise isn’t about money. Of course, it is about money, but there’s far more to it than the figure itself. If it were only about salary, you’d resign and take the higher-paying role you’ve found elsewhere. Knowing how to ask for what you’re worth is a critical skill for your career growth and for building a strong sense of self.


Asking for a pay rise is about understanding your value relative to your role, company and sector and then asking for that to be recognised.

A Real World Example

I mentor a Head of Product Development who joined a start-up a few years ago that started to rapidly scale. She recently faced a dilemma: should she leave for another start-up offering a massive pay hike, or stay where she is and ask for a salary that she thinks reflects her market worth?


She has been in her current role for almost two years and has:

  • Built her team from 5 to 15 people.

  • Upgraded two core products.

  • Initiated and is about to launch a third product.


She was approached by recruiters and a headhunter for CTO roles at new, product-based start-ups. The pay was attractive, but the role itself would have been essentially the same as what she is has already done.


If she stayed, she knew she had more room to grow with a company she understood, but she felt underpaid and undervalued.


My client is detail-oriented and risk-averse, but was ready to take the leap for bigger money and the sense of worth that the figure gave her. She’d even gone as far as getting an offer in writing, thinking that would be a way to ask for more money where she is, but I quickly persuaded her to walk away from that approach.


Why? Because:

  • It amounts to a threat, which can damage relationships.

  • Leaders may view it as a sign of disloyalty or a “give me this or I leave” negotiating style

  • If they call your bluff, you could unintentionally end up out the door.


Using threats and demands are not traits that leaders want to see in their teams and we not going to get the desired result.


So, how should you ask for more money in a positive, collaborative way?

Here’s the method we used - it’s simple, structured, and proven to work:


Step 1: Make Lists

List your value, contributions, and future potential. Organise them into seven clear points:


Points 1–3 highlight past contributions: Three specific examples of where you’ve added value, showcasing the positive impact.

Points 4–6 cover future impact: How you will contribute going forward, ideally with realistic timescales.

Point 7 covers salary expectations: A market-informed range that gives parity with peers or reflects your worth, based on data (not hunches).


Step 2: Frame the Conversation

  • Highlight mutual investment: how you’ve invested in the company and how they’ve invested in you.

  • Explain why now: after two years, the market has shifted, the operational environment has changed and it’s a natural point to reassess your value and trajectory.

  • Keep it collaborative: the conversation is about aligning value, not issuing ultimatums.

List the value you bring, show how you have contributed and demonstrate what future potential you have that will help bring even greater results.

Talk about the joint journey so far and how, based on that mutual investment, you want to continue moving ahead on this journey together.


For my client, this approach worked beautifully:

  • She received a revised package that reflected her contributions and market value.

  • She felt energised and motivated to continue adding value.


Even if the answer had been no, she would have walked away with:

  • A clear articulation of her worth.

  • The satisfaction that she took action, rather than staying small.

  • Negotiation skills she can use in future discussions.

  • Confidence in assessing her market value.


A win-win scenario for both her and her employer.


The model works because it:

  • Focuses on value, not just money.

  • Encourages structured preparation rather than emotional appeals - never an effective negotiating technique in business!

  • Positions the conversation as collaborative, not confrontational.

  • Bridges past contributions, future potential and market realities in one clear framework.


It’s a practical, repeatable approach that gives confidence, clarity and leverage without burning bridges. And it's done with respect - your own and your employers'.


If you’d like help pinpointing your value and how to negotiate a pay rise, why not get in touch and see how you can learn this valuable skill?


Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk


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