How to Influence People (Without Authority or Force)

Change doesn't have to be dramatic or forced to influence others' behaviour

Do you know how to influence people?

Whether you call it persuasion, manipulation, development, or influence, a good influencer of people - and in fact anyone who works with others to get things done - needs to be able to change behaviour through influence. Sometimes permanently, sometimes just long enough to get decisions made and move work forward.

This is true of influencing behaviours and securing change at all levels we operate at - with boards, committees, leaders, stakeholders, customers and teams.

Why telling people what to do rarely works

Demanding change rarely works. When demands are made of people, change may happen, but it’s usually begrudging and short-lived. That’s the stick approach: force compliance through authority or threat. It may deliver a result, but it rarely delivers commitment or longevity.

The carrot, enticing change through reward, is far more effective - we can think of it as 'choice architecture' where we opt into behavioural change willingly. But carrots can be obvious and people are savvy, often seeing them coming. People have learned (and can learn) how to negotiate, how to ask for more and how to hold out for more carrots and a better deal.

In recent years, these behavioural techniques have been given a more media-friendly label: nudging. Yet nudging isn’t new. Long before it had a name, we were already using it. At its core, behavioural change has always been about making the desired behaviour appealing enough to choose.

So what is nudging, really?

Wikipedia defines it like this:

“Nudge is a concept in behavioural science, political theory and behavioural economics which proposes positive reinforcement and indirect suggestions as ways to influence the behaviour and decision making of groups or individuals.”

It sounds complex, but it isn’t. In fact, you probably already do it. You just may not realise how powerful it can be.

Take positive reinforcement. Saying, “That’s a great insight” or “This summary is really strong” is feedback, acknowledgement, encouragement. To some, it feels basic. To someone who rarely hears it, it can feel like being sprinkled with fairy dust. Not everyone is naturally enthusiastic or expressive, but even a simple, genuine thank you can have a disproportionate impact.

Indirect suggestion is just as straightforward:

• “I wonder if there might be another angle worth exploring here?”

• “This project has real potential to develop further.”

You’re not instructing. You’re opening a door... for others to push wide and walk through.

Why indirect suggestion works

Like dangling a carrot, indirect suggestion takes many forms because it taps into some deep, predictable truths about human behaviour:

• Peer pressure and social norms – our desire to fit in and align with the group

• Inertia and unintentional laziness – defaults matter. Opting out feels harder than opting in

• Loss aversion – we’re more motivated to avoid losing something than to gain something of equal value

• Short-term awareness – linking an idea to a recent event increases impact (though it fades and needs refreshing)

• Framing effects – “95% fat free” sounds better than “5% fat”

• Overconfidence and selective belief – the same bias that keeps us buying lottery tickets

Some clients feel uneasy about the idea of influencing or “manipulating” behaviour. That discomfort usually fades when I explain that influence itself is neutral, it’s the intent that matters. Used responsibly, it’s a force for good and a tool for progress.

In fact, even knowing all the behavioural truths above, people are far more likely to change their thinking or behaviour if they believe the idea was theirs. That’s where the real power lies for people managers, but applies to anyone looking to influence behaviour.

The influencer/manager as coach, not commander

Indirect suggestion sits at the heart of effective coaching and coaching is a powerful (and relatively simple) high-impact tool for managers and influencers.

Asking questions that guide thinking, encouraging reflection, and enabling self-realisation consistently deliver better outcomes than simply providing answers

.

Telling creates compliance. Guiding creates ownership.

And ownership is what makes change stick.

If you want to become a more effective influencer of people and develop your influence for good, please get in touch.

Click ‘Book a call’ on the website for a free intro call or email me at louise@careertherapy.co.uk

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Check out my other articles on careers and confidence: You can grow your confidence, Pick your shine time, 5 steps to building confidence and Want more confidence? Take control.

Photo by Jeshoots on Unsplash